I couldn’t help noticing this week that my website was receiving a huge (and unusual) increase in hits and views. It set me wondering why that might be.

I’ve known for a long time that I had a namesake who is a more famous music artist than me. Mike Howe, lead singer of Metal Church. Fans of his often mistakenly arrive on my pages from google searches for him that have inadvertently directed them to me.

So I googled him too and was really shocked and saddened to learn that he had just taken his own life. That explained the unusual traffic to my website.

I just wanted to say how sorry I am for Mike, his poor family and his thousands of fans around the world. I know how the shock of that loss feels.

Over the years I’ve lost 3 good friends to suicide, or more accurately, depression. The loss of each one was a complete shock. Each impossible to comprehend at the time and, years later, still mystifying and sad. There was no warning. They were just gone. And the shockwaves and grief that were left behind for their close friends and family will, unfortunately, stay forever.

We miss them and we are left with the guilt of wondering what we might have done to save them, if only we’d known. Perhaps we should have known. That’s part of the guilt.

I obviously didn’t know Mike but I did once listen to an interview he gave, just out of curiosity for this other famous musician who’s fans used to land on my social media pages. He struck me as very intelligent, interesting, articulate and kind, as well as obviously being very talented. He and I are the same age.

It’s such a sad thing. We all imagine the pain that drives a person to that point of apparent submission and helplessness, and we all hope that we never have to suffer in that way, although many of us can relate.

Time will be up soon enough.

My sincere condolences to all of you who land here on my site looking for the real Mike Howe. I’m so sorry for your loss.